Be Still While Moving Forward

“Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10

I have spent most of my life chasing what I believed I was supposed to pursue. For over 20 years, I poured myself into building a career, going to school, earning multiple degrees and certifications, and constantly pushing myself to grow. I stayed focused, disciplined, and determined. I kept my eyes on the prize, believing that all my hard work would lead me exactly where I was meant to be.

Along the way, life didn’t slow down for me. It tested me in ways I never could have imagined.

I survived a massive heart attack. I battled major infections. I faced multiple life-threatening blood clots that could have taken my life. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I made the decision to fight for my health and lost 185 pounds, a journey that required strength, discipline, and perseverance I didn’t even know I had.

At the same time, I was living my everyday life as a wife and a mother, carrying responsibilities and pouring into the people I love. I gave my time, my energy, and my heart to others, often putting myself last. Through it all, I kept going. I kept striving. I kept building.

But somewhere deep inside, there has always been a quiet whisper, a calling I didn’t fully understand.

I never gave that calling the time or attention it deserved because life demanded so much from me. I had a family to support, bills to pay, and responsibilities I couldn’t ignore. So I stayed on the path I knew. The practical path. The safe path. But about a year ago, something began to change in me.

I started to deepen my relationship with God. I spent more time in prayer. I began to live more intentionally, aligning my life with the values of Christ. I wasn’t perfect, I still made mistakes every day, but my heart was different. I was seeking Him in a way I never had before. And the more I drew closer to Him, the louder that quiet calling became.

Now, I find myself in a place I never expected to be. After all these years of building my career, I’m no longer sure it’s where I’m meant to stay. It feels unsettling to even think that I may have been working toward something that isn’t my true calling.

I know I’ve done well along the way. None of it was wasted. But I can feel that something is shifting in my life. I am ready, truly ready, to do whatever God asks of me. But I don’t know what that looks like yet. And that’s the hardest part.

I find myself waiting on Him, trusting that He will reveal the next step in His timing. I believe with all my heart that wherever He leads, He will provide for me and for my family. Still, I would be lying if I said I don’t wrestle with fear.

If He asks me to walk away from my job… how will we pay our bills?

If He calls me into something unknown… how will it all work out?

These questions are real. They weigh on me. Yet in the middle of it all, I am learning what it truly means to be still. Being still doesn’t mean I stop moving forward, it means I choose to trust Him even when I don’t have the answers. It means I continue growing in my faith, continuing in prayer, continuing to seek Him daily, even in uncertainty.

I am learning that I don’t need to have everything figured out.

I just need to be willing.

Willing to listen. Willing to obey. Willing to trust.

Because I know this: God has carried me through every trial, every health scare, every obstacle, every moment that could have taken me out. He sustained me through heart failure, through blood clots, through infection, through transformation. He didn’t bring me this far to leave me now.

So I will be still. And I will keep moving forward, one faithful step at a time, trusting that when the moment comes, He will make the path clear.

Prayer

Lord,

You know my heart. You know my journey, my sacrifices, and my fears. Thank You for sustaining me through every life-threatening moment and for giving me the strength to keep going. I trust that You are calling me for a purpose, even if I don’t yet understand it. Help me to quiet the fear of the unknown and rest in Your promises. Give me clarity when the time is right and courage to follow wherever You lead. Provide for my family and guide my steps so that my life brings glory to You.

Amen.